Comments:

raymond - 2005-01-05 08:56:56
Now that all the crazies have been turned loose we can give the property away to an industrial concern from a foreign country intent on destroying the auto companies headquartered in Michigan.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 09:06:59
I wish they'd give tours of the spooky deserted buildings, but of course they never will due to liability. If you sidle up inconspicuously to the main building from the south side through the trees, the whole thing is wide open & easy to enter, if you dodge Gray Van Patrol Man. It's a beautiful, lonely, haunted place.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 09:07:48
Not that I'd advocate trespassing, bla bla bla. Just saying.
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Laura again - 2005-01-05 09:09:34
There's a big patient library somewhere in the building that may or may not be salvaged. Ypsidixit regrets the wastefulness inherent in destroying lovely, broken old buildings.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 09:24:52
The big old book truck from the hospital library sits parked in our house, haunted with untold stories.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 09:27:09
Really? Wow. Raymond, do I understand you correctly--do you actually own the hospital library "book truck" (I didn't know there *was* a "book truck," but the hospital is so immense that it makes sense they'd need one).
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raymond - 2005-01-05 09:35:02
truck=cart in library parlance. yup, we've got it. It's filled with Hardy Boys and other boy adventure series books.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 09:38:47
Well, I'll be darned. That's amazing. The things you learn on a blog. I remember you'd said you picked up an IV/puppet stand at a hospital sale, but I didn't know you snagged a vehicle, too. Very interesting.

I wonder about residents reading thse Hardy Boys books. The Hardy Boys are always running off to some adventure or another...as the forlorn reader looks up from the page to stare at the featureless white hospital wall.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 09:52:47
The Hardy Boy books didn't come from the hospital. We've collected hundreds of boys series books elsewhere. We got a few books from the hospital. We could have got the entire library for a pittance. Unable to deal with it. We have a lot of other stuff from there as well. Furniture. I directed and designed a "...Cuckoo's Nest" once and made the set out of stuff from YSRH. Very creepy. Gurneys and whatnot.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 09:55:08
Raymond, I know someone who is very intent on getting that library. Might you know [long shot, here] a contact at the hospital? If the library still exists, that is.

Wish I could have seen that production of "Cuckoo."
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raymond - 2005-01-05 09:58:37
The hospital library is long gone, books, shelves, card files, all. Ca. 1984.
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yd - 2005-01-05 09:59:39
Many of the "crazies" wind up in public housing where they call the maintenance staff incessantly to deal with "demons in my couch" "Bad oils" in my lock and "voodoo in the hallways." I've become very adept at removing demons from furniture. Usually placing it in the hallway for a few days works. It's a great resume line item.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:04:13
I feel a bit sad for such haunted people, and the way they seem to have been tossed into a housing situation that sounds incapable of caring for them. YD, how common is that, may I ask? I would very much like to learn more about this situation and how it happened.

I do have to laugh, however, at "resume line item."
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yd - 2005-01-05 10:04:47
Or the woman that kept calling me saying someone was breaking into her apartment and peeing in her cottage cheese. Who knows? Maybe someone was.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:06:03
How nervous and uncomfortable such a person must be, to imagine such things. Are these people getting, at least, some meds, or a visiting nurse every week or something, may I ask, YD?
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Professor Feather - 2005-01-05 10:07:54
meds, nurses, social workers, caregivers, meds, meds, special blue county vans, meds, meds, psychologists with office hours, demons, more meds.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 10:09:23
Hordes came to Ypsi when the hospital closed. Many are still around.
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Statistic - 2005-01-05 10:10:32
There are more mentally ill per square mile in Wayne/Washtenaw than anywhere in the world.
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yd - 2005-01-05 10:12:04
The firebugs are the ones you really gotta watch.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:15:49
Raymond: that is amazing, I didn't know that.

Statistic: that's also very surprising; I wonder why that is so.

YD: From what I've read in true crime, arsonist tendencies are often a symptom of even bigger problems.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:21:45
I'd love to hear more about how people with mental illness ended up in public housing. I'm guessing Engler had a hand in that, and that the de-institutionalization was marketed with some kind of "reintegration into the community" line.

The hospital, judging by the year-book, seems to have had a fair amount of recreational opportunities for residents: dances, a rec room, games, the library, sports events on the grounds...one wonders if the public-housing residents with mental illness are getting the same kind of services or experiences.
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yd - 2005-01-05 10:22:25
The hoarders are dangerous as well. Free newspapers in plastic, stacked like cordwood throughout the apartment. Small tunnels to get to the bathroom which in itself is indescribable. 1000's of xxxx-large pantyhose in the packages from 1970. Gonna strike it rich someday when there is a pantyhose shortage.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:23:43
YD, dumb question: did you see this firsthand? What happened, may I ask?
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Dr. Tarr - 2005-01-05 10:25:37
I'm making this all up.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 10:32:29
The closing of the mental hospital created the largest influx of renters to Ypsi since the bomber plant. It was like the Night of the Living Dead sometimes around town, people wandering about in a parallel universe. City gov't pretends that all the rentals south of campus are students who will move to the fine paper mill apartments (sic) so that young hetero yuppies can re-residentialize the run-down houses. Where will the mentals go, we must wonder.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:35:14
Yes, where will they go? I never knew about that influx of people, Raymond. May I ask, was that in 1984 (am I remembering the closing date correctly?)
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yd - 2005-01-05 10:38:08
I know where a lot of them go. Gotta fish them hambones out of the toilets.
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Larry Kestenbaum - 2005-01-05 10:38:23
When I was a kid, my late mother was there for a while, one of many institutions where she spent time. It struck me then as a very grim, prison-like place.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:43:28
Larry, may I ask, if it's all right with you, what are some things that struck you about the place? What was it like? What did you see there? I don't mean to pry--I've just never met someone who actually visited the place when it was still open, and I'm dying to know more.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 10:44:37
The mental health system in Michigan began to shut down in earnest in the 80s. The process drags on as the state collects bribes on the assets. Ypsi and Northville properties continue to be on the market.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:47:07
Hmm--I'm sorry, Raymond, but I'm not quite sure what you mean when you say "collects bribes on the assets."
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Tom - 2005-01-05 10:48:50
nuclear fuel rods dripping from the ceiling!! Gotta turn off all the electricity in the building before we all die. Never mind its 4am,freezing out and my next door neighbor uses an oxygen machine.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 10:50:47
Tom, I'm still a bit obtuse I'm afraid, please excuse me--are you referring to something that happened to you?--did power in your building get shut off due to some mistaken ideas by a resident?
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raymond - 2005-01-05 10:53:40
It ain't easy to discuss the transfer of property. It takes lots of travel and lunches, for example. And golf. Lobbying is expensive. Even UofM and MSU spent about $1,000,000 between them last year to make sure government agrees with their positions. Think what industrialists and developers must cough up. And it's justified business expense, so the investment is compounded.
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yd - 2005-01-05 10:56:59
And golf means: Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden...
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Dan Arbor - 2005-01-05 11:00:14
Laura--You can take a virtual tour of the old YSRH main building here at this site:

http://forgottenmichigan.com (Scroll to the bottom of the page).

We drive by the YSRH on the way to work each day. The main building is in ruins, while the secondary buildings behind it seem to be in use. But, the new brad-new facility further up Platt has seemed ready for occupancy for months now, so I am not sure why they're still using the old site. In addition, we often see work crews clearing trees and brush from grounds in front of the old main building. These crews are all dressed in the same jumpsuits, and appear to be supervised by either Community Mental Health or Corrections officers.

A friend of mine worked at YSRH about 25 years ago. She said it was a pretty grim situation. Security was rather lax with regard to residents who presented a significant threat to staff, and she counts herself lucky to have escaped without incident. From everything else she said, the place did the bare minimum for the residents, acting primarily as a storage facility for people, or practicing ghoulish "therapies" on the unfortunate residents.

Michigan followed Reagan's lead with regard to state-run mental hospitals: they kicked 'em out into the street, just like Raymond says. Reagan and Engler politically capitalized on the resulting freed-up state funds, while the rest of us live with the legacy of mentally ill cast out to sink or swim. Talk about injustice...
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:00:33
Raymond: I see what you mean. How depressing to think people could waste the money like that and just not care at all. YD: Well, I can't stand golf, so, personally, "ladies forbidden" is with me.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:04:15
Oops, Dan beat me to the comments, sorry.

Dan, that is fascinating to read what your friend experienced. "Storage facility" is well put--and very grim indeed. You are right of course about the many therapies--I read about them in hte year-book. "Therapies" that seem to have no real value, like "hot-sheet packs," "cold-sheet packs," (i.e., getting wrapped in a wet sheet I think), lots of hydrotherapy, fizzy baths, and other things that sound pretty much useless.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:05:40
Also, Dan, thank you very much for the great virtual-tour link.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:07:53
(Hmm...I must be missing something as usual, since I can't seem to navigate beyond the spooky door pictured on the site.)
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Dan Arbor - 2005-01-05 11:08:58
You're welcome. BTW, where did you find this book?
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Dan Arbor - 2005-01-05 11:10:42
Click on "PLACES" at the top of the page. That should take you to a page featuring all of the ruins photos...
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:10:46
I found the book at the Cross Street Book Shop, my favorite bookstore. I also found a beauty of a book about the sesquicentennial--very interesting; I'll have to scan some of the pictures.
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yd - 2005-01-05 11:12:22
Beware of the CSBS. You can catch narcolepsy there from the owner.
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yd - 2005-01-05 11:13:37
But it sure beats Borders.
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Dan Arbor - 2005-01-05 11:15:02
Laura--What's the ISBN# for that book?
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:15:58
Ah, that's right, thank you Dan: the gallery is spooky as all git out. I'm getting the quivers just looking at the pictures.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:17:18
Oops, Dan beat me to the comments, sorry. Hmm. Not sure if it had an ISBN--it was kind of a self-produced book. Not sure, but I will check as soon as I get home & let you know.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:22:23
Sheridan has a local-history section along the west wall, there--the psych book was hiding in there. I splurged on this goodie, for my local-history collection.
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Anna - 2005-01-05 11:46:53
I explored the hospital in Northville years ago -- 1991 or so, several times, actually. You used to be able to drive right up and walk right in. They still had old hospital records lying around, boys' report cards, dentist chairs, etc. It was eerie and sad.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:50:01
Wow, very cool, Anna (medical records?--yikes!) Did you check out the whole place? May I ask, what were some other things you saw? Also, is this the site I believe is called Eloise?
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Le Flaneur - 2005-01-05 11:53:16
In 1988, YD and I lived with a guy who spent a few weeks at the Ypsi hospital, on meds and under observation. He was a student at UM at the time and made vague but violent threats during a session with a graduate student advisor. He was then promptly swept into the system. I visited him there with another of our housemates. The exterior was creepy enough, but once we were inside, it became obvious that many inmates had free run of the place. One guy tried to start a conversation with us, but it was nonsensical. Our housemate was completely doped up and disconnected, and all he could say was that he wished they would stop medicating him.
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yd - 2005-01-05 11:57:36
But he was completely harmless walking around campus with a sawed-off shotgun under his overcoat. Good for scarying the bejeebers out of racist fraternity members. My fav was when he turned up his super stereo system and blew the hell out of it.
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Le Flaneur - 2005-01-05 11:57:47
re: Northville Dan Arbor, YD and I explored Northville many times in the late 80's. The most interesting buildings (the oldest) were on the east side of Sheldon, north of 5 mile. They have since been razed and replaced with McMansions. There's still another complex of intact, newer buildings on 7 mile by the state police post.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 11:58:48
re: medicated friend: That's an extremely frightening story, LF--because of the speed with which he was, as you say, "swept" into the system and medicated apparently without his consent. What on earth happened to that person? You say "a few weeks," so it sounds like he managed to leave?

The "free run of the place" part is unsettling. One wonders how much control the staff really exercised.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:01:07
Northville: LF, how cool. Boy, there are a lot of urban explorers in the woodwork. May I ask, what were some things you saw there?
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yd - 2005-01-05 12:01:10
I have googled him to no avail.
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Le Flaneur - 2005-01-05 12:01:27
I suppose I should have elaborated that our housemate was completely out of his gourd. He used to pack a pistol and shotgun at the Nectarine often, waiting for a reason to use them. At one point, he shaved his eyebrows off, a la Bob Geldoff in "The Wall" He was a scary individual, but he went back to the east coast ten+ years ago.
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yd - 2005-01-05 12:04:41
A group of students called him a chink onetime, where he promptly unleashed his sawed-off fury in the parking lot behind the michigan daily office. He ran into the house we lived in nearby and said he wasn't home if anyone came looking for him.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:04:52
Scary. I'm glad no one in the house got hurt. Ugh, I remember that scene from the film.
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yd - 2005-01-05 12:06:37
The basement made a fine shooting range. The landlord had no control. Ah.. but that was then,,,,
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:08:27
Good heavens. But why would the landlord have no control, I wonder?
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Tony J. - 2005-01-05 12:13:27
Can anyone control fifteen drunken adolescent freaks?
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:28:56
Well, not completely, I'm sure.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 12:38:41
Northville State Hospital is the place by the police post. The place at 5 Mile and Sheldon was the Boys Training School. I wondered as a kid if the boy-residents were better off there than I. They had meals and heat, I imagined, in brick buildings while I sometimes was hungry in tarpaper shacks. They had a tennis court in the valley, and playgrounds. Northville Township offices used some of the admin buildings for a while. The Plymouth Theater Guild and others used the auditorium for shows. The scariest place in that area was the TB Sanitorium. Also deserted and abondoned in a hurry with records and crap lying around. Actually, maybe the scariest place is still there. DEHOCO is not a P-Farm any more. The barns are gone to ruin and the prisoners require razor wire to keep them in and their enemies out.
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Anna - 2005-01-05 12:41:31
Well, the Northville facility looked much the way the one in Ypsi does in the photos. I gathered from the things left lying around that at least part of it was a facilty for children. The halls were painted that institutional light blue that our elementary schools were all painted, and that institutional yellow that still sort of gives me the creeps. There were vines growing all over everything outside, and growing into the windows. File cabinets full of papers, lots of things tossed all over the place by vandals. If memory serves, the facility had its own (abandoned) fire station -- it seemed like a self-contained village -- rooms that looked like classrooms, dentists offices, examining rooms, I feel like I have a vague memory of a barber shop, but I don't know now if I'm getting that conflated with the dentists chairs and I don't know how I would have known it was a barber shop unless it was painted on the door or something. I was a young college student, and at the time it was one of the most daring things I'd ever done. I felt like a modern-day Nancy Drew.
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Anna - 2005-01-05 12:42:54
Oops -- Raymond's and my posts crossed in the ether.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:42:57
Well, you were one. It's very cool, I think.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:43:41
Yipes!--sorry, I meant you were a Nancy Drew (quickly jams the "done" button!)
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:45:16
Also, Raymond, those are very sad and forlorn questions for a little boy to be asking--it is saddening just to read that.
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Le Flaneur - 2005-01-05 12:45:19
Raymond - What was the complex that is/was on the west side of Sheldon, North of 5 mile? It was across the road from the older complex and the buildings looked to be circa 1950's. If memory serves, they were connected by a tunnel under the road.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:46:45
(just as an aside, that reminds me the psych hospital had a tunnel complex underground, said the year-book).
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Anna - 2005-01-05 12:51:12
(thanks forthe kind words, L). The most spooky place I've ever been was a very old mental hospital in Western Pennsylvania. We (a couple grad students and post-docs from Pittsburgh and I -- a research assistant) went out to collect some data. Due to funding cuts, the hospital was 2/3 closed and looked so much like the Ypsi facility that it was freeky. The closed wings were all battered and painted in those same blue and yellow colors, semi-vandalized, abandoned 50's era furniture. The inhabited wing looked the SAME, but a bit more orderly, fewer broken windows, etc. It didn't look very modern-hospital-like. It was full of schizophrenics who were warehoused for lack of something better to do with them. They were heavily medicated. One got the feeling that some of them had been there since the hospital was fully open. The grounds were overgrown and the place looked completely abandoned from the outside. The cafeteria, which I was astonished to find, served food on those old molded plastic trays that we had in elementary school in the 70s. At lunchtime, we sat at those fold-up tables with benches, eating our jello and applesauce. It was a truly bizarre experience. That's the day I decided not to study schizophrenia.
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raymond - 2005-01-05 12:55:03
My pal Brian's mother worked in the dental clinic at Northville SH. I think his grandmoter worked somewhere there also. They had some adventures. We did go to an auction there, but didn't get much. Pontiac was the wildest place. Eloise, on Michigan Ave, also housed Wayne County General. Only a couple of the old buildings remain. What a lot of bricks under the bridge.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:56:25
Wow. What a vivid story. I can just picture it. The part about the inhabited part being just slightly less run-down is creepy, as is the mental vision of drugged-down people just left to...drift into the darkness in a crumbling place. Phew.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 12:57:09
Oh dear--that was directed to Anna, very sorry.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 13:05:43
Hmm...I am wondering just offhand if the place Anna visited was Dixmont.



















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Anna - 2005-01-05 13:07:51
Dixmont -- you mean the place in PA? I'd love to know what that place was. Actually, I still see two of the folks who were with me that day at conferences. I'll have to ask, because otherwise the whole experience seems too much like a nightmare. Reminds me a bit of a Twilight Zone story -- a crumbling hospital that everyone has forgotten about save the few people left who live there and the few who still work there -- as if no one told them that the place was closed, so they've been just chugging along all these years.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 13:10:07
And that wasn't too long ago, either, I imagine--pretty horrible conditions for a supposedly more enlightened time. I have to wonder how many places like that exist.
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Anna - 2005-01-05 13:18:49
Here's an article: http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyle/20030420dixmont2.asp Judging from the dates, the one I most likely visited was Western Center in Cecil, Washington County. Not sure exactly where that is (haven't looked at a map yet to see how close to Pittsburgh). I was there in 1995. It's possible that the dates in the article count when the hospital began to be closed not when it finished being closed, so it's hard to say. The pictures of Dixmont look awfully much like the place I visited, but I suppose a lot of those old hospitals looked alike...
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Laura - 2005-01-05 13:19:03
Here's page one of a photo tour--a long and extensive one with lots of pictures on many pages--of an urbex visit to Dixmont.

Sadly, this beautiful old pile is slated for demolition--to make way for a Wal-Mart (one more reason to hate Wal-Mart).
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Laura - 2005-01-05 13:21:25
The other pages may be found here (scroll to bottom; you'll see "gallery 2", &c.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 13:26:45
That's a very interesting article, Anna, with good pictures--thank you. Boy, would I love to see it.
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Laura again - 2005-01-05 13:41:24
Oh, and here's a photo tour of Eloise, on Michigan Ave at Merriman.
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yd - 2005-01-05 14:11:10
Raymond should check out the bottom right photo of gallery 4
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Laura - 2005-01-05 14:12:56
(forty-six people in Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti check the bottom right photo of gallery 4) :)
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yd - 2005-01-05 14:14:02
I tried to copy but i cannot for some reason
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yd - 2005-01-05 14:15:09
I'm certainly not as dumb as I look.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 14:16:24
Hmm--I can copy it here if you like.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 14:31:38
[[Oops, more comments mixups. I'd originally commented, "(forty-six people in Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti realize how clever yd is)". Then I saw yd's comment "I tried to copy"...and mine *after* that comment. But now it sounded like I was joking or making fun of him. So I deleted my comment. But not before yd made his "dumb as I look" comment, which now sounds odd because of the missing comment of mine. OK. Back on track. phew.]]
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raymond - 2005-01-05 14:57:46
Some parts of the hospital at Pontiac were still in use when the auctions went on. Patients hid behind trees and drooled at the tourists. It's a good thing we were all stoned in those days. We felt right at home. People tried to save the main Pontiac buildings. They looked like the Kingdom of Oz, or some-such fairyland. I hear it's pretty well gone now.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 15:04:00
Another good site suggestion to drive by to check. I don't know if it's standing, either, or if I've ever seen it to begin with.
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Dan Arbor - 2005-01-05 16:14:25
Here's a link to the Clinton Valley Center (Pontiac) prior to its demolition.

http://www.historiccvc.8m.com/menu.html

I agree that some of these old hospitals are great examples of past architecture. But I also think of the sheer amount of the negative energy or psychic impressions or bad karma (choose your term) that must permeate these sites, and I wonder if it isn't better to level them.

The interior pics of Pontiac make the place look more like a dungeon than a vitorian treasure...(shudders)
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Laura - 2005-01-05 16:19:54
Thank you Dan!--that's a wonderful, link-filled site. I like the interior pictures--some nice brickwork in there, real old-time work. Those long yellow halls, however, are a bit spooky. I'd keep looking to the left and right, real quick (sorry Iss), as I walked past each wall.
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yd - 2005-01-05 16:20:09
What's a vitorian treasure?
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yd - 2005-01-05 16:21:34
You all sound scared of your own shadows, jeez, their just a bunch of old buildings that have served their purpose.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 16:28:04
They are filled with loneliness and an ominous feeling. They're loaded with history. And real danger--one kid was mugged when urbexing, by ne'er-do-wells hiding in the building.
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yd - 2005-01-05 16:34:03
takes all kinds to make the world go round...
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Laura - 2005-01-05 16:41:24
Indeed it does.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 16:49:17
Annnnnnddddd.....here we are at the 100th comment! OK, I put aside some champagne just for this moment. Here's some for you, yd, and let me pour one here for Dan--OK, there we go, and here's one for Raymond, there you go, and I'll put one aside for Anna if she comes back later. There's some extra glasses for other people and the bottle's over here if you'd like a bit more. There you are. Cheers, everyone. Thanks for all the good comments in this fascinating ongoing discussion.
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Laura - 2005-01-05 19:07:50
Dan, I checked the book. It has no ISBN number. It looks to be a privately bound book, just a report to the state mental health department. It also doesn't seem to have an address (where one could write to request a copy).

However, the Michigan Historical Center Library in Lansing has a copy, and lots of other materials relating to the hospital. Anyone can get a library card there--just need a driver's license. It's a fabulous library. I've checked out weird rare things and have been surprised they let just anyone take stuff home.
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Dan Arbor - 2005-01-05 22:20:21
Laura--Thanks for the info.

Sorry about the delay in replying, we decided to leave AA early to make the journey southward before the snow storm became worse. A 45-minute ride took 90 minutes+ today.

But, the snow covered landscape is beautiful...
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Laura - 2005-01-05 22:42:18
It was smart to leave early. Our office closed at 4 to let people get home (with typical winter-biker machismo, I stayed till 5 as usual and serenely biked-bussed home).
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Anna - 2005-01-06 12:32:51
Back, albeit a day later. Thanks for the champaign... I can always use a good pick-me-up around lunchtime. I wonder why in those institutions they always thought yellow and powder blue would be a grand idea? There must have been some theory about those colors making people more manageable.
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Laura - 2005-01-06 12:39:49
That is rather an odd combination. I've seen putrid blah green used thus, too.
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yd - 2005-01-06 13:34:19
Lavenders, greys, and pinks seem to calm the melancholy crowd.
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Laura - 2005-01-06 13:35:33
Ooh, color theory, yay, I love color theory. Red is said to make one excited or aggressive.
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Anna - 2005-01-06 16:15:28
I'll have to remember to wear mauve for my next talk, and avoid red at all costs.
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Laura - 2005-01-06 16:18:54
I do think the seasons thing is valid. You know, "are you a winter" and all that. That seems to work. So as far as mauve, I s'pose it depends on your complexion, skin tone, etc. Mauve makes me look like that guy in "The Scream" since it washes out my face so much. OK, I'm rambling.
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