y p s i ~ d i x i t
Motto: "You must realize that until you have thrown off your bourgeois shackles and enjoyed a leisurely smoke while letting a Giant African Snail determine your cadence, you have not begun to demonstrate what has been lost to expertization." --L.F.

Who: Laura
Where: Ypsilanti, MI
What: Ypsi, Iraq, windfarm dumping
When: Aug. 7, 1967
Whence: Mt. Clemens, MI
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2005-02-18-12:21 p.m.: COURIER STORY: I'll be publishing a story about the Courier this evening around 7. If you care about local journalism you might like to read it. It shocked me, I can tell you that much.

0 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-18-9:42 a.m.: EGG BANK: New technology that allows women to freeze their eggs allows them to have families later in life. Ypsidixit isn't interested in the children part, but she hopes this means women will be able to rise higher in companies, instead of being forced to have a family before it's too late. Story.

2 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-17-11:04 a.m.: IT'S ODD how on a frenetically hectic workday, the slow-falling snow just beginning to fall outside the window makes everything peaceful. Last night on the way home it whirled slowly like immense cone-shaped swarms of white bees under the streetlights. It made you stop the bike and stare. You looked up to where the snow got distant and tiny way up there and felt surrounded by and connected to beauty, the air made visible.
Ypsidixit is enjoying the snow while it lasts.

13 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-16-8:33 p.m.: YPSIDIXIT is thriftily using the experience of freezing to death in her own home as an excuse to research how early Washtenaw County settlers froze to death in their own homes. She finds one such account in Washtenaw County: An Illustrated History by Ruth Bordin:

"My husband was seized by the mania [of early county land-grabs]" writes Margaret Noble in her memoirs concerning the year 1825. She and her newly arrived family, settling near Dexter, were stricken with illness as they struggled to erect shelter before winter. An Illustrated History notes, "Margaret Noble carried much of the burden. She raised the rafters and put on a roof, drew stones for the chimney, loaded and stacked hay, fed the cattle, and cut wood. During the first winter in Dexter she bundled up her two small children and brought them outside to warm up in the sun against the side of the cabin."

Translation: If Ms. Noble brought her little ones outside in the dead of winter to "warm up," that means that in her cabin, it was cold as a snake's armpit.

4 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-16-7:39 p.m.: IRONY: After blogging earlier today on the virtues of home ownership, Ypsidixit came home to find her furnace dead. Much cautious twiddling later, it remains dead: blowing, but heating not. Ypsidixit can see her breath in her house. Telling herself sternly that Shackleton would have regarded Ypsidixit's 41-degree house as a paradise of warmth and comfort, Ypsidixit, busy at work, will have to cooly wait till the weekend to have a furnace man take a peek. Here's hoping it doesn't blow up or something in the meantime.

67 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-16-12:53 p.m.: "LIFE IN YPSI IS HIP, HOT" says the Ann Arbor News, noting the surge of downtown Ypsi loft development. Developer Bill Kinley "rented them immediately at a higher price than what people were used to paying in downtown Ypsilanti. Some units are renting for $1,400 a month. "I'd like to see the trend continue," he said."

At least there's a sushi bar slated to open this summer. Story.

24 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-16-8:43 a.m.: CELEBRATE: You may have heard our Federal Government has declared February 16 a holiday. Yes. It�s �Kyoto Observed Universally?--Go to Hell!� (KOUGH) Day. Although the rest of the industrialized world--except those wacky Aussies--begins observing the Kyoto Treaty today, the U.S. ain�t. As our leader has said, though not explained, that would �hurt our economy.� That�s good enough for me!

Ypsidixit�s celebrating in style. She left her bike at home today (where the thermostat�s cranked up to 85�) and rented an Expedition to lumber into work. She plans to buy food swaddled in maximum packaging and styrofoam for lunch, then after work drive around randomly for awhile, or maybe just idle in a parking lot somewhere, before going home to whip up a gimlet in her gas-powered gimlet-whipper. Woohoo!

14 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-15-9:15 p.m.: ASSIGNMENT: Fix the rear flat on the bike.
TOOLS: Socket set, vise grip, screwdrivers (couldn't find the tire irons).

RESULT: Ready for tomorrow's snow. Ypsidixit just saved herself 15 bucks at the bike shop. The rim is rusty in the photo but I shined that right up with some Nev-R-Dull wool.

2 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-15-6:41 p.m.: BEN FRANKLIN, PRANKSTER: "He was at his most clever and hilarious when he authored Poor Richard's Almanac. An unknown writer at the time, Franklin goaded a more established almanac writer, Titan Leeds, into a ridiculous public dispute that would anticipate the over-the-top pranks of the Dadaists." [more in "comments."]

1 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-15-5:03 p.m.: NEW YPSI FOOD CO-OP BOOK CLUB: First meeting March 17, 7:30 p.m., at the co-op. The book is Monique Truong's The Book of Salt, a fictional memoir of Alice B. Toklas and her Indochinese cook, just the sort of artsy, fake story that turns Ypsidixit off instantly but *anyways,* all are welcome to the book club. Free; coffee and desserts included.

5 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-15-12:37 p.m.: [comments have been fixed, sorry if you had trouble] JAMES MANN LEAVES COURIER: Ypsidixit has learned that local historian James Mann has chosen to leave the Courier, after nearly 6 years there, due to the Heritage changes. He says of the changes that it's "as if I were overseeing the funeral of a close friend...the Courier will never be under Heritage what it should be."

No more reliable weekly columns about a child's tragic death, the flower gardens by the Depot, or Peninsular paper mill workers. And so one more thread to Ypsi's past is snapped.

16 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-15-8:47 a.m.: CONVICTED MONROE COUNTY MAN argues that his raging 2002 homicidal bar spree that killed 2 and injured 3 was due to Prozac. A jury found him guilty at his first trial--but because the Prozac wasn't really taken into account then, he's getting another trial. Should his sentence be shortened? Story.

9 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-14-12:43 p.m.: CONTINUING ITS "YPSI: ISN'T IT QUAINT"? SERIES of articles designed to pave the way for the eventual insane-AA-housing-market-driven colonization of our fair city, the News publishes an odd little tale about a medical school graduate who repairs vaccuum cleaners on Ecorse. What caught Ypsidixit's eye, aside from the bleak tableau at the end, is the name of a nearby restaurant: the Pea Pod. Ypsidixit instantly liked this name and wants to visit, if for no other reason so she can gaily call out, "See you at the Pea Pod!" or maybe "See ya at the 'Pod!"

83 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-13-6:56 p.m.: THE HALF-LIFE OF SLANG: Ypsidixit was startled yesterday to read in a book "The author, a total spaz, nevertheless learned three guitar chords in an hour." Then today in Jerusalem Gardens she overheard a scrap of an old pop ditty: "All the boys! think! she's a spaz!--she's got--Bettie Davis Eyes..."

Ypsidixit hasn't used or thought about the word "spaz" for twenty years. It made her ponder why some slang from her youth is still with us ("totally," "awesome," "yuppie" "bonus!") while other tidbits have become immobilized in the amber of time ("grody," "gnarly," "take a chill pill," and the mysterious "cool beans").

37 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-13-5:46 p.m.: SCHOOLS KILLING STUDENTS' LOVE OF READING BY ASSIGNING SAPPY "YOUNG ADULT NOVELS" INSTEAD OF RIPPING GOOD YARNS. That's the conclusion of an article in today's Detroit News. "[T]he K-12 literature curriculum may in fact be contributing to the problem [a dramatic recent decline in adults reading for fun, according to a National Endowment for the Arts survey]."At the middle school level, the kind of quality literature that might appeal to boys has been replaced by Young Adult Literature, that is, easy-to-read [yawn], short novels about teenagers and problems such as drug addiction, teenage pregnancy, alcoholism, domestic violence, divorced parents, and bullying...[but] according to reading interst surveys, both boys and girls are unlikely to choose books based on an "issues" approach."

Who wants to read dreck like that? No wonder adults give up on reading. That stuff isn't literature. It's a misguided attempt to address what administrators see as problems in students' lives [an attempt that has no place in an English class], or it's a misguided attempt to make reading "real" and "cool" by including "real-life" issues.

Ypsidixit years ago read what's arguably the first example of Young Adult Literature, Judy Blume's Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. At the time I was somewhat shocked to see Blume's frank discussion of sex and other personal topics, which was unusual. But I'll tell you, it's not a book I remember. I couldn't write a report about it right now, because I've forgotten what the story is.

The books that got secreted away in my heart weren't Young Adult novels. They were works of literature written by masters. Like E. B. White's Stuart Little or his Trumpet of the Swan. The Little House on the Prairie series. The Wind in the Willows and The Cricket in Times Square. The vividly remembered characters in those books are like friends, and their stories are with me today. Such books helped turn me into a voracious reader who likes nothing better than to get a pile of books and do nothing but read all weekend.

12 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-12-7:16 p.m.: ANN ARBOR'S OLD WEST SIDE'S LITERARY CONTEST: AA's ("prestigious"!) OWS is having a literary contest for residents and "friends of" [?] the OWS zone.

Entries may be short fiction/non-fiction, poetry, and art, and the subject matter must deal in some way with the OWS. Entries will be judged by "a respected panel of writers, artists, editors, and wizards." Ypsidixit likes the idea of a neighborhood literary project, but feels trepidation about reading the results of this contest in particular.

55 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-12-2:45 p.m.: THE NEWS PUBLISHES AN "ISN'T THAT QUAINT" "news" article about Olde Town Coin and Gold in Depot Town. Within this dull story, which isn't much more than a laundry list, there's one sparklingly interesting factlet: "A glass beer bottle from the former Ypsilanti L.Z. Foerster Brewery was dug up along the banks of the Huron River." Really? Wowie. But the only Foerster Brewery Y. sees online is one north of here. Hmm.

4 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-12-10:15 a.m.: ANN ARBOR NEWS EDITORS SERVE AS SCABS IN OHIO, filling in for the striking staff of the Youngstown-based daily The Vindicator. A Metro Times reporter called a News editor down there.

EXCERPT: "Asked if he was working at the paper, [News editor Ed Petykiewicz] declined to comment. He wouldn�t even confirm that he was in Ohio. Sharp newspaperman that he is, Petykiewicz apparently failed to grasp that we had just dialed the number to The Vindicator�s newsroom. That fact alone should have helped him realize that any attempts at evasiveness would seem a little, uh, what�s the exact adjective were looking for here? Lame? No. Stupid? No, that doesn�t quite capture it either. Wait, let us check the thesaurus. Oh, here�s the word: imbecilic." Story.

9 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-11-11:36 p.m.: YOU, YES, YOU, CAN BE ENCAPSULATED ON A CD:

"To return to the computer analogy, you can fit all the information contained in a human genome (all the data necessary to create you) on a compact disc. The human genome contains 1.5 x 10 to the ninth bytes of information, which is roughly the same amount contained in a seventy-minute hip-hop CD by Snoop Dog."

--Kembrew McLeod's book Freedom of Expression: Overzealous Copyright Bozos and Other Enemies of Creativity.

Me? On a CD? Ypsidixit feels queasy to think that all the kaleidoscopic impressions and thoughts and ruminations and reflections she experiences each day, often dizzying ones, can be boiled down to a portable CD.

5 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-11-7:42 p.m.: BLOG POLICY: The fact that server data may be seen in this blog's statistics section caused no small degree of understandable consternation today. I received emails requesting that I not "out" blog-commentors, and I think it only fair to spell out my approach to this blog, so that you don't feel inhibited coming here.

I would not "out" anyone. Doing so could alert an abusive ex-husband to where his ex-wife is. Or get someone fired. Or betray a trust.

My blog stats tell me only which server visited. That's all. Mostly it's stuff like ameritech or comcast addresses, or google searches for "ypsidixit". That tells me someone who has ameritech or comcast or who did a google search stopped by. That's all. I have no way of knowing *which* ameritech customer came by.

Sometimes the server is from a business or public facility like a library. This also tells me only that someone using that entity's server visited. I have no way of knowing specifics.

The main reason I even look at my stats is to see just out of curiosity where the blog is being read. I had some hits in England recently which tickled me, and one in Australia of all places. No idea who these readers are, but it's fun and flattering to see the overseas hits.

If you email me stuff, I'll ask your permission before posting it. The only exception is if I get an email from someone I'm currently talking about on the blog. For example, had I received an email from a Heritage exec today asking me to remove the Courier post, I would probably have posted it since it's germane to the discussion.

I regard regular commentors as friends. It would be abusive to damage the trust people place in me by commenting or emailing. I have a short fuse and often do stupid things, but I try to follow these rules and will apologize and ask your forgiveness if I slip up. OK. That's it then.

10 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-11-8:19 a.m.: YPSIDIXIT has been getting some interesting visitors lately. Like this one:
10:40:30 - nwg001-ce2.customs.treas.gov.

Which comes from this page.

25 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-10-9:37 p.m.: YPSILANTIAN CANCELS COURIER SUBSCRIPTION: A kind reader cc'd to Ypsidixit a letter (below) he sent to the Courier's Heritage owners, cancelling his subscription:*

"I did not intend to subscribe to a bland chain of newspapers when I subscribed to the Ypsilanti Courier.� There are many local authors who have now seemed to disappear without explanation from your pages to be replaced with one writer.� This monoculture is stifling. Please cancel my subscriptions immediately." --David M. A.

Shortly after I received this note, I noted that the blog was visited by the following host:

15:22:45 - pppser.heritage.com

If you look at this Thursday's new Courier, you can see why Mr. A. is angry:
---Of the paper's 20 headlined stories, 7 (incl. all 3 front-page stories) are written by Kathleen Conat. She's a good writer, but one wishes for a wide range of voices.
---Of the remaining stories, 2 are by Charlie Kondek (lives in Ypsi Twp), 2 by William Zilke (no listing; the Zilkes listed in phone book live in Milan), there's 1 each by "special writers"--translation: no health insurance--Mary Wilson (Ann Arbor, if it's the same M. Wilson), David Wak (Ypsi city), and Anna Szymanski (no listing, but most Szymanskis in phone book live near Dexter), and the rest have no byline. Nice to see that Heritage has apparently farmed out news articles to people who don't even live here. Pat Grimes's column (from the old Courier) luckily is retained.
---James Mann's local-history column is missing.
---The Religion page has been eliminated. This page used to feature essays by Ypsi pastors and ministers that the atheist Ypsidixit never agreed with but always read because they were local voices.
---The paper's obnoxious new "Taste" section is a slimy ad vehicle. The front page is a bunch of recipes, each including a specific food. Last week it was "OSO Onions" in every recipe. This week it's "1 (14-ounce) can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk (NOT evaporated milk)." This detailed ingredient appears in every recipe. This ain't a page of recipes collected from locals, which would be charming and fun. It's an ad. The remainder of the taste section is mostly ads.
---The usual cartoon section, which riffed on Ypsi locales in three different ongoing cartoon strips, is gone. In its place is a poorly drawn, unfunny to date single-panel "cartoon" by William Zilke.
---The volume of ads is about a third again of what it used to be.
---The layout is atrocious. High-school level. Makes it hard to read.

All in all, a huge disappointment. Heritage botched the job.

*I asked this gentleman's permission to post his letter, but haven't heard back. While assuming it's OK, I've taken the precaution of omitting his surname & address.

24 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-10-12:03 p.m.: INDIVIDUAL NEEDS VS. COLLECTIVE COMFORT: Due to a student's peanut allergy, one entire Ann Arbor school has undergone an enormous effort to go nut-free, including bus scrubdowns and, to some parents' irritation, a ban on PB&Js and all nut-containing foods. On the one hand, school should be accessible to all. On the other, Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network founder Anne Munoz-Furlong disagrees with bans, saying allergy education is better.

Although childhood peanut allergies are on the rise, the only other nut-free school in Michigan is in Farmington Hills.

35 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-10-12:14 a.m.: "ASK YPSIDIXIT": This week's "Ask Ypsidixit" mailbag contains--once you dig down past the thousand or so fan letters--a prettily pink, scented note. Let's see what it says:

"Dear "Ask Ypsidixit":
"I am tormented by the advent of Valentine's Day. As a ruggedly independent spinster who disdains the hyper-commercialization of this holiday, I nevertheless can't help but feel a twinge when I stare into my empty mailbox and imagine what-if. I need some coping skills for what will be a rose-free Monday."

Dear Rugged:
Let's face facts. It's a lose-lose situation, but you'll survive. Sure, you could take the "virginal-aunt" route and send all your extended family members handmade Valentines. Or you could take the "who-needs-'em" route and sink into a bubble bath while sipping champagne. Or you could go eat breakfast alone at a nearby Bunny Brunch and have the threadbare consolation that at least one bunny somewhere is one carrot further from a lonely death. My advice? "Follow your bliss," as the New Agers say. Splurge on that book you've been eyeing, put on your pj's, and bury yourself in it. Lounge. Loll. Slouch. Have a glass of wine and read the whole darn thing--because, untrammeled by pesky romantic complications, you can. Before you know it it'll be Tuesday, and life will roll on.
--YPSIDIXIT

7 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-09-7:38 a.m.: HERE'S THE PART OF GRANHOLM'S SPEECH (full text here) that made me pay attention:

"This investment in Michigan's future will allow us to transform the state to put the nation on wheels into the state that makes those wheels run on pollution-free fuel cells or bio-diesel technology*; the state where the research into alternative energies is done; the state where the clean technology is developed; and where the clean cars, products, and businesses are built. And Michigan...could be the state that finally makes these United States independent of foreign oil."

This is a practical and smart plan, and adaptable infrastructure already exists: existing auto plants, their subsidiaries, and distribution networks could kick-start new clean-car manufacturing. The bit about freedom from oil will excite a lot of potential investors on both sides of the aisle, making this plan more than just a tree-hugger's dream.

*misleading: fuel cells are not pollution free since the creation of hydrogen requires energy, and biodiesel creates emissions.

22 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-09-12:05 a.m.: WELCOME TO THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER. Meaning what? "Bottom line, the rooster's crow heralds the third straight year of gains in equities." Ah. This E-Z Chinese zodiac sign calculator (summaries on the front page, with links leading to in-depth explanations) reveals that Ypsidixit is one of the goatish Goats, who are "gentle and have the spirit of sacrificing themselves for benevolence" [aw shucks], "prefer mysterious atmosphere" [yes, I prefer mysterious atmosphere], and "in love, the females may achieve as their wishes" [yes, I prefer mysterious atmosphere].

Ypsidixit would like to know if your own description captures every last nuance of your kaleidoscopic personality.

8 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-08-8:09 p.m.: PETA ACTIVISTS DRESSED AS FISH bring their "Fish Empathy Project" to Ann Arbor tomorrow at 11 a.m., on the doorstep of the Real Seafood Co., 31 S. Main. Activists will hand out "vegetarian starter kits" and harangue people in general. "Fish are not swimming vegetables," notes PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk. Story.

77 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-08-12:48 p.m.: YPSI DISASTER: THE CAR WAS TOTALLED, the house was crushed, the busted water main flooded everything, but at least the child support got paid.

2 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-07-9:23 p.m.: THE MODERN-DAY EQUIVALENT TO THE APPLE FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE, the paczki reveals human nature just as thoroughly. Representing the sweetness and fatness of life, this Rorschach inkblot of the pastry world reveals its consumers' attitudes towards hedonism, and sorts them into identifiable types:

THE MINCER: This person surgically extracts precisely 1/4 of the paczki for consumption, a move revealing a deeply conflicted nature, one which yearns for joyful fulfillment yet cannot embrace it. Selfishness is revealed too--who wants to eat this person's mangled, fingerprinted leftovers?
THE HALFWAY: Bravery meets ambivalence in this commitment-phobic type. Often you'll find a paczki sliced in half and the two halves left behind, when the revealed filling turned out to be an undesired one. This person stumbles towards happiness, only to recoil when it turns out Heaven has Coke instead of Pepsi.
THE BUDDHA: Serene, untroubled, secure in the knowledge that all is transitory, this wisdom-radiating type calmly selects a paczki without neurotically peering in the filling-hole to try and divine the filling. He or she quietly transports the prize back to the desk and centers it neatly on a napkin. After reflecting on the fleeting nature of happiness, satiety, and life itself, this type savors the morsel, floating in a timeless pool of calm before reentering the fray of a spam-clogged email inbox.

45 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-07-9:02 p.m.: THE THOMAS MORE LAW CENTER has filed suit against the Ann Arbor Public Schools in the Michigan Court of Appeals, protesting the AAPS's same-sex partner benefits.

11 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-07-12:54 p.m.: THE BRAND NEW "DEPOT TOWN ART STUDIOS" art collective on Park Street, just up the hill a bit from Depot Town, sounds like it's being run by a very cool bunch of artists indeed. A positive development for Ypsi!

34 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-07-8:51 a.m.: A KIND READER who's a Friend of Ypsi Freighthouse asks if I'll put up a bit of additional info about the Sat., Feb. 19 Preservation Ball, which Ypsidixit is glad to do (see "comments").

15 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-06-11:10 p.m.: BEHIND THE SCENES in the EMU cafeteria kitchen midmorning, the white-aproned Mildred Williams is filling the last of 36 greased bread pans with ground beef seasoned with the same mixture of sage, thyme, and rosemary that she uses at home. She draws a huge sheet of aluminum foil over the triple row of pans lined up on a giant cookie sheet, crimps it down, opens the oven door and carefully lifts and slides in the heavy sheet. Mildred washes her hands at the little sink, dries them, and opens the twist tie on a 10-pound bag of grated cheese next to seven big pans of cooked macaroni. A student worker comes around the corner from the prep area.

"The salad bar things are ready--I put them in the fridge," he says. Mildred smiles at him. "That was fast--you can start getting the dessert stuff out in about 10 minutes if you like. So, are you ready for that geology test?" "I hope so--I was up till 2 last night studying." "You'll do a fine job."

A uniformed officer from campus security wanders into the kitchen. "Hi, Mildred. I'm froze up--you mind if I get a cup of coffee? Hey, is this macaroni day? Could you save me some?" Mildred grins at him. "Thought you were doing that Atkins." "Well, a man has to make exceptions sometimes." The kitchen is spotless and warm. The odor of spiced cooking beef starts to waft from the oven.

Mildred Williams, a real EMU food service worker placed into this cozy imagined scene, may soon lose her job of 36 years as EMU debates privatizing its food service, housing, and publications.

Local union leader Rick Clifford says privatizing would cost jobs. "A private company may have some people stay over, but they'd reduce their salaries and give them no benefits. They'd weed out people until all they had left was temporary people making $8 an hour."

Why, yes. That's precisely what EMU wants. Get rid of those unionized salaries and benefits that ensure a decent standard of living. Never mind that Williams has served the university for 36 years.

Clifford adds, "You never hear them talk about outsourcing management. They could save money doing that."

40 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-06-10:46 a.m.: NOW THAT THE MUCH-VAUNTED LIFE SCIENCES CORRIDOR PROJECT has fizzled, Ann Arbor has backtracked & come up with a new, vague plan [scroll down 2/3 to "Initiative aims..."] to turn AA into not a life sciences powerhouse but a technology powerhouse. Informally dubbed "Ann Arbor Tech Central," the plan would "balance the events and networking circles of a medley of tech trade groups." Whatever that means. If the city couldn't attract the best life sciences people, it seems doubtful they'll be able to attract the best tech people. Ypsidixit wonders why the city can't just let things be instead of constantly coming up with expensive, pie-in-the-sky "development" plans.

1 comments--add a comment

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2005-02-05-8:54 p.m.: WINTER TREK: Around dinnertime at work, I took a glance at the bus schedule to see if the Saturday times for the #4 were at a quarter past and a quarter to as they are during the week. I knew the bus ran till 10 so I wasn't worried. Imagine my surprise when I saw that according to the new schedule as of Jan. 23, the last Saturday bus was at 6:18 p.m. What?! I glanced at the clock: 6:22. If I flew across campus, I might be able to nab it at South U and Washtenaw. I sped off.

At the stop, usually crowded with people, it was clear I was too late. OK--there was one option. I decided to take it easy and take it careful and bike Washtenaw to Ypsi. It was a beautifully foggy, warm night, anyways.

On the path next to County Farm Park, the fog in the woods absorbed darkness till the woods resembled black velvet with a few dim grey sticks laid upon it. The air was milky and streetlights fog-fuzzy. I went through parking lots up to 23 and gingerly crossed the entrance and exit ramps, crossing to the north side of Washtenaw at Carpenter.

The rest of the trip was alternating parking lots and portaging. In a used car lot, fringey blue flags drooped on the antennas of trucks long-lined neatly up like sentinels. An abandoned gas station next door held the car lot's overflow. The water tower finally loomed dimly in illuminated haze. I rewarded myself for the trip by stopping off at the Cross Street book store to pick up Eugene O'Neill's Long Day's Journey into Night,, a collection of Russell Banks stories called Success Stories, and The Portable Faulkner, which contained some sought-for bits of Requiem for a Nun, a title Cross Street didn't currently have. It was a slow but invigorating trip down the usually blaringly commercial Washtenaw which fog had made vague, blurry, and soft.

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2005-02-03-8:34 p.m.: WHAT'S THE ELBOW ROOM'S RETURN POLICY ON (slightly used) AUSTRIAN CONDOMS AND FETAL GOATS?

"The resounding success of last night's "State of the Union Party" at the Elbow Room can only be attributed to the free Austrian condoms and fetal goats given out everytime the word "nuclear " was mispronounced."
--Feb. 3 blog entry, Leighton Rhymes with Satan

Ypsidixit regrets to inform everyone that Merriam-Webster recently OK'd the pronunciation 'nuke-you-lur'":

EXCERPT: "Though disapproved of by many, [the pronunciation 'nuke-you-lur' has] been found in widespread use among educated speakers including scientists, lawyers, professors, congressmen, U.S. cabinet members, and at least one U.S. president and one vice president. While most common in the U.S., these pronunciations have also been heard from British and Canadian speakers."

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2005-02-03-3:16 p.m.: A KIND READER SENDS AN YPSI EVENT FOR OUR CALENDAR (link at left): a Radiohead Tribute Night at the Elbow Room Thursday February 24, 9 p.m., $3 cover (21 and over).

Pictured is Detroit rock group Mound, with (from left) Dave Binkowski, Jim Powers, and Pete Moegling.

Mound and other Detroit and AA bands will perform covers and interpretations of Radiohead songs.

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2005-02-03-12:47 p.m.: YPSI SPENDING PRIORITIES: Should we even be thinking about installing $116,000 worth of playground equipment in Riverside Park instead of doing the estimated $110,000 worth of repairs [pdf] to the Freighthouse? The park is useable as it is. During such financially straitened times, why pour cash into non-essentials when one of the city's most popular venues remains padlocked?

The Freighthouse plans a fund-raising Preservation Ball February 19 at the Firehouse Museum.

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2005-02-02-12:52 p.m.: AN ANN ARBOR HAM RADIO FAN notes a weird recent numbers station dubbed Yosemite Sam. Listen to it here [.wav] More on numbers stations here, here, and here.

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2005-02-01-10:21 p.m.: TIDBITS:

--the term "Mannheim Steamroller" comes from the euphoric 1742 performance in Mannheim of the first modern symphony, when the entranced audience slowly rose to its feet during long crescendos (source: the Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra's attempt to make concertgoing hip to desperate singles aged 25-45)

--the French term for "still life" is nature morte (source: the Threepenny Review)

--the U-M has a semi-secret Office of Ceremonial and Presidential Events (no website; phone is 647-6037) which employs a staff of...guess. One part-timer? Nope. Ten full-time workers. With benefits. And dental plans. And parking vouchers. And you wondered why tuition is so high (source: incredulous work colleague)

Ypsidixit would love to know what useless yet interesting bits of info you've picked up lately.

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2005-02-01-1:00 p.m.: Highly readable, cool-headed, sensible article on the non-crisis in Social Security.

Ypsidixit is scornful that anyone would think her dumb enough to think that a system that's been rolling along since the 1930s should, overnight, be plunged into crisis and therefore pried open so that investment banks can start siphoning off fund maintenance fees. It's outrageous. What's more outrageous is the reason for the loss of Social Security funds: Bush's stupid tax cuts. The administration's complete disregard of elderly people in need--30% of whom rely solely on Social Security for their income--appalls Ypsidixit.

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2005-01-31-9:46 p.m.: AS PROMISED, here is the farewell column former Ypsi Courier columnist Judy Busack wrote which Heritage refused to publish. Ypsidixit is told that this is a toned-down version. So you'll have to use your imagination.

"I have been with the Ypsilanti Courier since the beginning and it was a fun ride while it lasted. We worked for low salaries because it truly was a labor of love.

"When the paper was sold in the latter part of 2004, I made the decision to leave the paper and work for it on a freelance basis. When Dave Melchior made the decision to leave the paper January 28, 2005, I decided that it was also time for me to move on to my next adventure.

"I wanted to thank a number of people who have helped make writing my column fun. My husband for his support and allowing me to "pad" his antics from time to time. My son for his understanding when writing about him. My fellow co-workers who in the past 10 years made it fun and enjoyable to go into work and who I truly think of as friends. And, of course, the readers who gave support to the paper and commented on my columns.

"Heritage newspapers chose not to run my last column because "it added nothing to the paper." I regret that they didn't give me an opportunity to say goodbye.

"I appreciate Ypsidixit allowing me this outlet to say goodbye and best wishes to all the readers who have been supportive through the years."

--Judy Busack

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2005-01-31-9:39 p.m.: THE FEBRUARY CALENDAR is up (see link, at left). As always, please let me know if you're planning an event or would just like to see something added [sports at the Convocation Center, a reading at the library, &c.]; I'll add it right away.

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2005-01-31-12:55 p.m.: VALENTINE'S DAY FATIGUE? Sick of annual gift anxiety, boring boxes of chocolates, and sappy greeting cards? Why not take your sweetie (or just yourself) to Ypsilanti's most heartwarming Valentine's Day event, on Saturday, Feb. 12:

�My Bunny Valentine� Pancake Breakfast Buffet Benefit: Great Lakes Rabbit Sanctuary. A pancake breakfast with pancakes to order, cruelty-free scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, vegetarian sausages, bagels, danishes, juice, coffee, and fruit. Live piano music by a musician TBA, Christian the Clown, a kids coloring contest, a raffle, and adorable bunny-themed valentines. Proceeds benefit the GLRS, a bunny rescue society. 10 a.m.-1 p.m., St. Luke�s Episcopal Church, 120 N. Huron, Ypsilanti. Tickets $8 (kids 12 & younger, $4) in advance and at the door. 459-8907.

(Pictured: The Introduction, part of the "Gerard ter Borch Master Works" exhibit at the DIA (February 27-May 22).

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2005-01-31-12:36 p.m.: RAINBOW SUN-DOG: This morning, twigs and dried flowerstalks bore a furze of white--frozen fog. Trees across the street resembled white lace. Over them, in the bright pale lit-fog eastern sky, the milky sun rose bracketed by two sun-dog swatches of rainbow. Glimpsing it at 8:30 from the #3 bus on Huron Parkway, I stared in amazement at the beauty shimmering against the white fogged sky. By the time the bus got to the Vet's Hospital, it was gone.

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2005-01-30-11:56 a.m.: A SOGGY COUNTY: At January's end in 1918, a full year before Prohibition began, Michigan became a dry state--nominally, at least. Around 75% of all alcohol smuggled into the States during Prohibition came through the Windsor-Detroit border, so it's a safe bet that Washtenaw County was one of the wetter dry counties.

Washtenaw County's early days were even better lubricated:

"In the first half of the [19th] century but few large distilleries existed, while every neighborhood must have its "still." A new settlement was no sooner formed than an enterprising individual would erect his still and commence the manufacture of whiskey, pure and unadulterated. The surplus corn of the county could be used in no other way, at least such was thought to be the case. ["Gosh dang it, I cain't reckon why I planted 45 extra rows of corn this year (throws up hands). Guess I got no other choice but to make a little 'shine."] "The first issue of the Western Emigrant, published at Ann Arbor in 1829, contained the advertisement of a distillery...

"The whiskey-jug was thought an indispensable help in the harvest field, or at house-raisings, log-rollings, and corn-huskings; nor was the decanter, with its exhilerating contents, generally wanting at social gatherings. Liquor bought by the gallon, and even by the barrel, was kept in the household for daily use. Before partaking of breakfast, the glass was passed around to give an appetite...

"Liquor being one of the specialties in the early country stores, some merchants were wont to treat their customers, especially when making large bills, and often previous to purchasing an order [good strategy] to sharpen their appetite for trading. Happily, these habits have become obsolete among the better classes of society, [?] and it is hoped will never be revived."

--Charles Chapman's 1881 History of Washtenaw County

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2005-01-28-8:16 p.m.: HERITAGE NEWSPAPER LOW WAGE EXPOSE: Head publisher Justin Wilcox explained, in an email printed in full in the "comments" of the orthodontic mock-story post, (below), that this mock-story was essential for the paper to raise money. He said, "As far as the full page ads, yes we were running a special this month to help boost revenue which is required to compensate reporters and photographers."

Ypsidixit has learned from a reputable source that Heritage allegedly paid Courier reporters and photographers $7 an hour.
She also learned that this is allegedly less than is paid to employees at other Heritage papers.
The reason is unclear. It deserves investigation until it is clear.

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2005-01-28-8:03 p.m.: YPSIDIXIT EXCLUSIVE: Sometime in the next couple of days, Ypsidixit will have the privilege of publishing a certain column, by a local writer, that was banned from publication. I'll post it soon's it comes in. Mum's the word till then.

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2005-01-28-12:58 p.m.: YPSIDIXIT'S SECOND FAVORITE ARTIST is planning an ambitious new Central Park project. Christo's elegaic The Gates is going up now, will stay up for 2 weeks, and then will be recycled. The 7,500 gates follow the park's walkways.

Christo notes, "[for those walking through,] the Gates will be a golden ceiling creating warm shadows. When seen from the buildings surrounding Central Park, The Gates will seem like a golden river appearing and disappearing through the bare branches of the trees...The 16 day duration work of art, free to all, will be a long-to-be-remembered joyous experience for every New Yorker...The luminous moving fabric will underline the organic design of the park, while the rectangular poles will be a reminder of the geometric grid pattern of the city blocks around the park."

Look at Christo's beautiful sketches of The Gates.

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2005-01-28-12:12 p.m.: TODAY'S PLATEFUL OF SECULAR HUMANISM comes from the new issue of Free Inquiry magazine:

"Precisely because the New Age remains outside the boundaries of mainstream faiths (despite its crossover appeal), it is treated much more derisively than established religious beliefs and traditions, which enjoy reflexive, even excessive deference. Religious correctness deters us from making fun of the myths and practices of Christians, Muslims, and Jews; but to skeptics, one religious miracle, one deity, one belief in eternal life is no more or less absurd than another. To an atheist or agnostic, believing in the divinity of Jesus makes no more or less sense than believing you used to be a tree. So I sympathize with adherents of the New Age who feel singled out for abuse by writers like me, and I want to assure them that I can be equally critical of many established religious beliefs. Still, established religions are apt to have stronger intellectual traditions than the New Age, as well as institutionalized commitments to social welfare, which the New Age lacks, party because it lacks institutional structures."

--FI, "Mass Market Mysticism--The New Age: Still With Us, Still Fuzzy-Minded," p. 28.

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2005-01-27-9:19 p.m.: ABSOLUTE MICHIGAN publishes a daily news digest of state news called "Five Things You Need to Know About Michigan." It's good for getting up to speed on state news.

Absolute Michigan kindly gave Ypsidixit a compliment by linking to this tiny blog. But I'm posting about them not because of that but because I like "Five Things," which introduces me to stories such as today's story on wind energy in the U.P., [cool map] culled from The Mining Journal.

If you want to read "Five Things" in the future, there's a link to the left, in Ypsidixit's "news" link category.

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2005-01-27-8:34 p.m.: To: Justin Wilcox (Publisher) [email protected]
To: Renee Collins (Editor) [email protected]
Subject: Publication of Puff Piece

Dear Mr. Wilcox and Ms. Collins:

As a subscriber, I was appalled by your decision to publish a full-page �story� on a Chelsea orthodontist that combined the worst of fawning praise with the most vapid, uninteresting content imaginable. I looked for a header saying �advertisement� but unaccountably found none. If orthodontist Raymond Howe didn�t pay you for a full-page ad, I�d say you got shafted.

I put �story� in quotation marks because this is not a story. It�s a puff piece. It�s an insult to my intelligence. It�s a total waste of my time. Don�t tell me you published it to inform the community of a valuable service. Buncombe. Even if I were a parent, only a tiny fraction of parents at any given time are looking for an orthodontist. With our nation at war, how high on my list of news priorities do you think a Chelsea orthodontist is? Why didn�t you use the space for, at the very least, reports on Ypsilanti city and township council meetings?

I also note a new flurry of garish full-page ads in the paper. Clearly, Heritage is trying to turn the Courier into more of a moneymaker. Fine. I can skip the ads. But don�t insult me by masking trite garbage as a genuine news story. If I see this pattern repeated, I will cancel my subscription immediately and urge everyone I know to do the same.

I�ve put this letter up on my blog, at http://ypsidixit.diaryland.com, and I will post your response there as well. I would very much like to see you explain yourselves.

Yours truly,
Laura [surname omitted here]

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2005-01-27-12:21 p.m.: DAVE MELCHIOR LEAVES YPSI COURIER: It's official. Courier co-founder Melchior is leaving. There's a little get-together at TC's Speakeasy tonight from 5 till whenever if you'd like to drop in and say bye. There's also an open position at the top of our local newspaper that I pray is filled by some hard-working sharp-thinker from Ypsilanti, not some Heritage person from outside the community.

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2005-01-27-10:02 a.m.: ERASURE: 20% of German teens, 45% of Britons and 60% of Britons under 35, and 63% of Americans have never heard of Auschwitz.

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2005-01-26-10:38 p.m.: HERE ARE THE ISSUES you'll vote on on the February 22 special-election ballot (put into "comments").

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2005-01-26-10:06 p.m.: TODAY'S SORBET-DISH OF SCHADENFREUDE comes from whiny EMU student Karla Hartford, who illegally parked her SUV in Eastern Plaza's parking lot overnight during last Friday's snow--apparently the vehicle couldn't handle the snowy road--and returned next day to find it buried up to the roofrack in snow. The snowplower guy unconvincingly pleads innocence. Story.

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2005-01-26-12:19 p.m.: "GEE-UP! HYAW!" A whip cracked. The eight-horse team next to the Thompson Building strained to move up the Cross Street hill, tendons popping out on their legs, watched by the excited crowd lining Cross Street. "Figure they'll make it this time," one man said to me. Stretched harness creaked. The huge wooden wagon with the giant black cannon chained to the bed didn't move. The driver cursed, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his forearm.

Ypsilanti asked the Federal Government for a cannon in 1903, since, you know, every city should have one. It arrived, heavily chained to a rail car in Depot Town, "some assembly required"--it had no base. A custom base was specially cast for the big black gun at the building that's now the Ypsi Food Co-op. Now the only problem was how to get it up the hill.

Eventually, the horses were unhitched and the city's rarely-used steamroller was chained to the wagon. Took an awful long time to build up enough steam, but eventually the huge, heavy steamroller powered slowly up Cross Street, steadily dragging the enormous gun (the biggest cannon in a park in Michigan) up Cross Street to its resting place in Prospect Park.

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2005-01-25-9:07 p.m.: TORTURED NEW ARTWORKS IN ST. PAUL'S CATHEDRAL: Russian-born artist Sergei Chepik's four 22-foot-tall contemporary artworks depicting the nativity, public ministry, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus were installed today.

With a bleak gloom that prompted a Guardian reviewer to compare the works to the cursed land of Mordor in Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings, the works were commissioned after an earlier Chepik painting of Golgotha, painted from Christ's point of view, drew rave reviews from visitors to St. Paul's, where it was earlier displayed.

Born in 1953, Chepik studied art in Leningrad but fell out of favor with the establishment when he refused to paint propaganda. "He became an outcast and joined the margins of society, painting the tragedy of post-Stalin Russia: the destitute in doorways, the drugged in psychiatric hospitals, the hopeless heap of humanity washed up in public baths."

The Dean of St. Paul's commented on the zeitgeist that gave rise to these images: "It seems to me that Sergei Chepik has captured in a stark and powerful fashion the Christ whom I find in the Gospels; and it may be that in our tormented world it is exactly this presentation of the Person of Our Lord which is able to speak to hearts and minds."

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2005-01-25-12:45 p.m.: YPSI WINS ARMY CONTRACT: $70,000 goes to Integrated Sensing Systems of Ypsi. Their sensor to measure the lubricity of oil and fuel is, weirdly, the modern equivalent of the "lubricating cup" by Ypsi's most famous inventor, Elijah McCoy.

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2005-01-25-8:21 a.m.: YPSIDIXIT'S SOLUTION TO OUTCOUNTY SPRAWL? Simple. Just extend the aegis of the pitbull Ann Arbor Historic District Commission to the county borders. Declare the whole county a Historic District, which it is, actually. Done.

The powerful AAHDC is embroiled in a fight with New Life campus church, which currently holds worship services in the Modern Languages Building. The church wants to buy an empty sorority and demolish it. No go, says the AAHDC. The Canterbury House people earlier tried the same move. Forget it, said the AAHDC.

Ypsidixit finds herself, strangely, on the side of this organization, which is derided by some for the same historical pushiness that is saving these 2 buildings. Canterbury House is a 1902 grocery store, and the sorority is a venerable old pile. Let the God people make do with what they've got, without destroying local history.

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2005-01-24-9:15 p.m.: WASHTENAW COUNTY'S QUAINTEST ONETIME SOCIETY was its 19th-century Pomological Society. Men would hitch up the team, depart hearth and home, and travel for miles in order to talk about the blush on apples.

When the society's formation was first suggested, "the call was well received by the fruit-loving people of the county, and in June, 1878, the first meeting was held...the society decided to discuss the apple at the next meeting."

At the August 1878 apple meeting, William Grooves remarked on pruning trees, Jacob Ganzhorn revealed that he had no objections to crops being grown in apple orchards, and a "discussion" arose between Scott Grooves and C. G. Clark on the merits of the Baldwin apple "for market purposes and home consumption." Mr. Grooves viewed the Baldwin as flat worthless. Worthless. Mr. Clark, constraining himself, opined that it would be a very desirable apple in the future.

Ypsidixit wishes she could have been a fly on the wall.

Other meetings examined the peach (September 1878), berries (October 1878), and the pear (November 1878).

Ypsidixit realizes this probably won't be 2005's barn-burningest post. She just wanted to tell you about it.

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2005-01-24-4:14 p.m.: OUTRAGEOUS: The Supreme Court today allowed that drug dogs may be used to check cars during routine traffic stops. Were you silly enough to buy a used car from someone who smoked or smuggled pot, unbeknownst to you? Have a friend who lights up once in a while? Guess you're out of luck. The guy in the case that led rise to this decision got 12 years. Story.

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2005-01-24-1:02 p.m.: NICE POEM, "6:15 a.m.," by former Bicycles in Town fashion cop Scott.

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2005-01-24-12:42 p.m.: SINISTER METAPHOR: One caller on today�s Diane Rehm show pointed out that she found the depiction of freedom as fire in the inaugural speech to be disturbing: �By our efforts, we have lit a fire as well, a fire in the minds of men. It warms those whose feel its power. It burns those who fight its progress, and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world.�

BBC correspondent Justin Webb, one of Rehm�s guests, dryly pointed out that freedom has different metaphors overseas. �I think in Britain it�s something like a lamp. A little less threatening.�

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2005-01-24-8:53 a.m.: JUDGE ORDERS NOTORIOUS YPSI LANDLORD Willian Kircher to cough up $400,000 or lose 4 buildings. Story.

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2005-01-23-3:06 p.m.: A KIND READER sends Ypsidixit a link to the "50 Most Loathsome People in America." It's a hilarious, well-written romp. Decreed "punishments" include "chugging a gallon of stem cells on Fear Factor" for Laura Bush and "reduced to skin care infomercial endorsement" for Halle Berry. Don't miss the description of Joan Rivers as a "cross between a sickly geisha and the Joker." Or who's named as #3.

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2005-01-22-2:45 p.m.: SPONGEBOB IS THE NEW TELETUBBIES: Speaking at a recent black-tie dinner for members of Congress, Focus on the Family founder James Dobson decried Spongebob Squarepants as a vector of that bad old pro-homosexual agenda. Zeroing in on a recent video the Spongebob people produced which shows Spongebob with such other childhood icons as Barney and Jimmy Neutron, Dobson claims the videomakers planned to mail the video to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity." Oh, God forbid.

Ypsidixit is sick unto death of the reverent family rhetoric. As a crabby spinster, she pays more property taxes per capita than any family on her block. She's also decontributed to overpopulation in this country and has not produced new consumers into the most rabidly and unsustainably consuming society on the planet. Given the severe family dysfunctionality Ypsidixit has witnessed firsthand as a former stepmom to a troubled boy born out of wedlock to a neurotic bitch of a mother, Ypsidixit views the pious lauding of families with a severely jaundiced eye and a yawn, before contentedly wandering off to pursue her sinister spinster agenda. Fools.

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2005-01-22-11:18 a.m.: SNOW STORIES: Ypsidixit is pretty much snowed in, but she's not complaining, since she knows what winter was like for the county's early settlers, such as Samuel Pettibone in 1831:

"Took my family of wife and three children into the neighborhood, [a lot just east of Ypsi] put up the body of a log house, got trusted for 1,000 feet of green white-wood lumber, at Pine's mill, laid down a floor and a chamber floor, and partitioned 12 feet from the back end--the snow a foot deep, and very cold--and moved in between Christmas and New Year, without any roof, door, or windows, no chinking, and no chimney but a space in the chamber floor for the smoke to go up. Shook two hours, three days in the week, with the ague, [malaria] and did not get on a shake roof until into February."

That's right. This man actually built a house by hand in the dead of winter while suffering from malaria. Kinda makes winter biking look like a prance through the meadow. But I'm confused by the "chamber floor" reference. Was this a sleeping-loft? Or a ceiling of sorts? At any rate, you'll note this family of 5 lived in an unroofed cabin for a month and a half during the coldest part of the year.

Ypsidixit is going out to shovel a tunnel to the gate, but would love to hear your snow stories about today's storm when she gets back.

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2005-01-21-9:49 p.m.: MORE EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS ON THE EARLY SETTLEMENT OF WOODRUFF'S GROVE, from a different book, quoting Mrs. Alvin Cross:

"On the Tuttle and Grant farms were old Indian corn-fields, which were easily put under cultivation...The Indians passed through the place in June {1824}, the company numbering between 300 and 400, all marching in single file. They were peaceable and inoffenseive, and continued so, until they were furnished with whiskey by the white people."

"Deer were plenty, and bears, wolves, and wild-cats abounded. Venison was the most common article on our bill of fare."

"A few logs together with bark scattered around...was all that remained of Godfrey's trading post, in the spring of 1824. Near by this, on the bank of the river, was a fine spring, and here Mr. Stewart built the first house. On the west side of the river, in Ypsilanti, others soon joined him, and quite a settlement sprang up during the summer.

"Mr. Woodruff sent out an invitation to every one in the county, to celebrate the Fourth of July at he Grove. He brought up from Detroit such articles for the dinner as wre considered necessary, and could not be found in the settlement. Among these were loaf sugar, cheese, raisins, rice, and last, but not least, a half barrel of whiskey.

"Mrs. Woodruff's oven was the only one in the place. It was built out of doors, of stone, plastered with mud. Here the baking was done...a beef was killed, and when the meat was ready to roast, lo! the oven and every bake kettle were already full. Logs were rolled together and a fire quickly made out of doors. Two large kettles were turned on the side before the fire, and on sticks laid in these the meat was roasted to perfection. The company gathered in Mr. Woodruff's yard where a log had been set up to resemble a cannon; on this the boys fired their rifles and ushered in the day with wonderful salutes. From a stump near by Mr. Woodruff read the Declaration of Independence and made a speech. Then all who could sing joined in singing "Hail Columbia" and we were ready for dinner.

"Our table was made of rough boards, covered with the whitest and smoothest of home-made linen. We were all proud of our success in preparing the dinner, and it certainly was very inviting. There were roast beef and chickens; new potatoes, green peas and beets; warm biscuits with butter and honey; cheese; rice puddings and loaf cake, both well filled with raisins...

"Delia Woodruff and I had the hot sling ready for toasts. This was new work for us and we forgot our instructions and put in a double portion of whiskey. The effect of this mistake was soon apparent on the toast drinkers, in increased liveliness and good humor."

--"History of Washtenaw County" p. 452-453 (1881), Charles Chapman

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2005-01-21-7:07 p.m.: THE WHOLE FLAP over Harvard president Larry Summers having to publicly apologize for comments he made regarding innate differences in men and women that may help explain why women are underrepresented in math and science careers is ludicrous, thinks the feminist Ypsidixit. Those differences have been proven in multiple studies. Besides, the skills in question are stupid ones, like rotating an object in one's head. Ypsidixit can't recall the last time she wanted to do so, and no sensible woman is going to lose sleep for worry that she lacks this "skill".

But the bigger issue is the plague of political correctness that now infects even our best school. Ypsidixit wonders why the diversity police would object to a man pointing out a diversity, and knows that with her frank, rough-hewn ways, she wouldn't last five minutes in the stifling and intolerant politics of academia. Ugh.

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2005-01-21-12:54 p.m.: U-M FOOTBALL is following Ohio State's lucrative lead with a $200 million renovation of the U-M stadium to add private suites and cushy outdoor seats with access to a private lounge. At Ohio State, the suites annually cost up to $20,000-$75,000 and the seats $2,000-$3,000. Ypsidixit bets that the U-M ones will be even pricier, on top of the $49-$57 ticket price, given the huge demand for U-M football (there are currently 18,000 people on the football season ticket waiting list, despite the fact that 97% of all season ticket holders renew each year).

Talk about wretched excess.

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2005-01-20-7:45 p.m.: 1824 EYEWITNESS ACCOUNT OF ROUGH LIFE IN EARLY WOODRUFF'S GROVE, by a woman who arrived as a girl at this settlement south of Ypsi:

"We reached out destination on the flats about a half a mile from the Grove where Mr. Tuttle (Hiram) had prepared a house for his family. When we were ready to land the men exchanged smiling glances and Mrs. Grant and Ms. Tuttle [Tuttle Hill Rd. namesake?] began to cry, realizing all at once that this wilderness must now be their home.

"We two girls were too young and too light-hearted to sympathize with such feelings and gayly started to see the house, but soon returned not being able to find anything but a small building, which we supposed to be a sheep-pen. Our ignorance was quite excusable for the low, rough log pen did not resemble a human habitation.

"It taxed our ingenuity to prepare dinner on a fire of blazing logs built at one end of the room. There was no fireplace and no chimney, a hole was made in the roof, allowing the smoke to escape. That night I first heard the howling of wolves and was unable to sleep."

--from "History of Washtenaw County," (1926), edited by Byron Finney.

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2005-01-20-4:23 p.m.: REFLECTING THAT THE INAUGURAL SPEECH is really a ritualistic recitation of the national mythology, Ypsidixit listened transfixed to the words� rolling thunder.

In the end Ypsidixit wanted to see the weight of the speech�s different concepts. So she decided to make the speech into a picture. First she removed all words except the nouns. These she sorted alphabetically and then counted. Finally she gave each noun the font size of the number of examples of the word in the inaugural speech. Results in �comments.�

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